Acceptance

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Individually we all have a standard of how much we will accept in reference to a significant other. Every person has their own breaking point. Yesterday on the Breakfast Club, it was brought to light that the infamous Wendy Williams’ husband, Kevin, has been in a 10 year affair with a woman by the name of Sharina Hudson. It’s reported that Wendy has decided to stay with her husband, because she love she him. In recent hours I’ve read that Wendy denies all of the above ever taking place. Now let’s be clear that these days all I seem to hear about and sometime find myself talking about are failures in relationships. Where are all of the happily married people? I’m not saying that they don’t exist but it’s certainly not plentiful. There is a shortage of healthy and happily relationships especially in the black community. So I know that it’s easy as a single woman who’s never been married to state blatantly what I will and won’t accept with cheating and outside children being number one on my list. I’ve talked about baggage in a previous post  (See the post “How Much for Extra Baggage?” or “The Case of the Ex”) but specifically the sort that comes pre-marriage. This kind of baggage is being acquired within the relationship and without her consent. But let’s be honest here people, is a 10 year relationship with another woman not excessive? It’s been said that he purchased the mistress a condo and more recently a home within a few miles of his home with Wendy. It seems that he was truly living a double life. 

Now I can sit here and question what the hell was going on in his home with Wendy for her to not be aware of such purchases, rendezvous after rendezvous and so forth, but I also have to realize that Wendy is seemingly a very busy woman and a celebrity. Her life comes no where near my own where I have time to become my own P.I. if desired. Free of charge. I love to entertain the common male response that she must have not been taking care of home or doing something right. The truth of the matter is this, you can be swinging from chandelier and shower curtains, freaking a man like your a whore in the streets, cooking the best meals, giving the most phenomenal back rubs, talking sweet and dirty to him and so forth and a man that wants to cheat will still cheat. Even if there were problems then why didn’t he try to work that out at home opposed to stepping outside of his marriage. A dog will always be a dog and there is nothing you can do to tame a curious man. Guilt didn’t push him towards confession for 10 whole years?

To me, cheating is a highly offensive act. I’ve been cheated on in my past. It’s not a good feeling. So I can’t imagine how I’d feel if a man has what I consider a whole other marriage and a family going somewhere else. Ten years is an emotional connection and likely not just sexual st that point. While Wendy still loves him, for me this is one of those “love don’t live here any more” moments. I question if her motivation is a lack of a prenup or something else.

Kudos to Kevin and Wendy if they are able to survive this horrendous situation. They will need to produce a memoir or something to tell me how they can possibly move past this successfully. Though Wendy probably wishes the media would give her some space, fair is fair. She’s the queen of gossip. She has belittled men and women worldwide for years. Though I don’t have any ill will for anyone, I’m not surprised that Wendy’s life is currently revealing that she indeed needs to sweep around her own front door instead of sweeping around everyone else’s.

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This discussion brings me to Kevin Hart… Now Kevin’s cheating has been recently placed on blast when someone leaked a video with him and a mistress engaging in sexually infused behavior. Though Kevin has apologized publicly and is obviously a case of sexual extortion, his wife Eniko is pregnant with the couple’s first child.  Now I know that Torrei Hart’s argument as his ex wife is that Eniko split them up just the same as someone is hindering their marriage, but does anyone deserve for a man to cheat on them at all, nonetheless while she’s pregnant with his child? It appears that Eniko is going to stay as well. I have never had a child, nor carried the emotional roller coaster surrounding pregnancy by itself, but I really can’t imagine going through this with a child on the way. Again if Eniko and Kevin survive this then I need a personal memoir on how they go through because maybe they know something that the rest of us don’t.

The truth of the matter is that no one is truly perfect. But how much imperfection are we willing to work with?

So what are you willing to accept or compromise with your spouse about? 
Do you view cheating differently when it’s a one night stand vs a ten year relationship? How much is too much? 
Dr.SunShine.504

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