Shacking

Everyone who is anyone probably knows what the good old term “shacking” means. Here we are in 2012 and many of us still use it, think of it or fear it because our mothers or grandmothers have put a very negative connotation about it in our minds. So what is shacking? I was always taught that living with the opposite sex unmarried equates to shacking and is almost like the sin of all sins. Well now that I’m older and able to firmulate my own opinion, my thoughts have changed a little. Exactly where in the Bible does it state that you can’t live with the opposite sex? The Bible mentions or hints at fornication but not actual living arrangements. If it does then feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. So in my opinion, a couple who is not sexually active can co-habitate and not be living in “sin” as we’ve been lead to believe. Let’s face it folks! How many couples aren’t sexually active these days? Very few right? So that defense can’t be used by many. But it’s 2012… Are your really only going to live with your spouse? Meaning… are you going to go from living with mom and dad or by yourself to living with your husband/wife? Probably not. It’s usually just not that clean, cut and dry. Times are too critical and too many marriages are failing because the couples find out so much about each other once they first get under the same roof. As my mother always says, you have to really KNOW who you are marrying. Simple things can cause a once beautiful relationship to go sour. Some relationships are stuck in this phase that I like to deem as the honeymoon days. Those days include no arguments, all kisses, good loving, holding hand and making plans, all tidiness and never a thought of negativity when it comes to your dear and sweet relationship. And then MAD DAY hits. You are so pissed with your significant other that you simply need some space or time to get over it. When you don’t live together you can easily press ignore on your phone, play sick, don’t go to their house and so forth, but what happens when you live together? 

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So here I am at 26 years old… I hadn’t ever really spent the night at a guys house til recent years, took my first trip with a guy at like 20 or 21, but I never thought I’d live with a guy. Well times change and people change I suppose. I’m certainly not getting any younger and I’m spending 3 months with my beau to complete an externship and to see what’s really up. He and I both know what the deal is so I’m not concerned about others’ finger swagging, mouth spitting scolding. Those same people all lived with their mates before marriage, some who you think are married are actually “common-law marriage”, many were doing the do, and most of them all had babies pre-marriage. It’s 2012, stop centering your lives around the belief systems of everyone else. Know yourself and your God and what standards He will hold you up to. All of the other stuff only complicates things. Other people’s judgment and condemnation isn’t right anyway. I guess the fact of the matter is that if you even have to care about what other people think then maybe you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing, whether it’s because it’s wrong or because you aren’t mature enough for the decision you are making. I find that listening to what other people have to say often pushes people who are thinking of or already “shacking” into marriage. I’m not marrying anyone just because people say I should. I understand that the Bible states that it’s better to marry than to burn but again, if the sexual aspect of the relationship is non-existent (Yeah, I’m still celibate folks) then does that statement really apply? I understand the lust and temptation components that exist in this situation, but I’d rather deal with that rather than marry someone and co-habitate with them without giving it a test run before marriage. Call it what you may but that’s simply just my opinion. With all of that being said, I do not agree with those who live with their significant others for years at a time with no thoughts of marriage or better yet, the girl wants it but the guy isn’t ready. That brings along the age old question, “Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?” Let’s not be stupid ladies. You don’t opt to live with someone because you want to make them marry you. If you have to “make” someone do anything then chances are, you don’t need to be with him. I also don’t agree with couples buying real estate with both names on the mortgage when they haven’t finalized whether or not they are getting married. If things don’t work out then you are left with a divorce-like situation where you have to decide who gets what and so forth. I guess my suggestion for most is to just try a 3-4 month test run of living together. You will learn so much more about who you are with in 90 days… far more than you ever could have learned in those 90 hours or so when you spend the weekend over.

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